


Spooky Scary Minicons

by Decepticonsensual



Series: The Festival of Mortilus [12]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 07:44:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1042190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Decepticonsensual/pseuds/Decepticonsensual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which ancient alien robot death machines discover the joys of trick-or-treating.  The world may never be the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spooky Scary Minicons

“Quit pushin’!”

“Well, will ya move over already?  They need to see my angelic face!”

“I’m gonna _break_ your angelic face –”

“Shut up, shut up!  Door’s openin’!”

Right on cue, the two fearsome Decepticon warriors chorused, “TRICK OR TREAT!”

The human in the doorway paused, her smile faltering.  She was wearing a black robe and a tall hat with a floppy brim, which she kept having to adjust so that it didn’t slide down over her eyes.  Rumble and Frenzy, however, only had optics for the giant bowl of candy she had cradled in both hands.

“Great costumes,” she said, raising an eyebrow, “but aren’t you two a little old to be trick-or-treating?”

“No!”

Frenzy shook his head emphatically, and Rumble put in, “We’re just tall for our age.”

“Uh-huh.  And what age is that?”

“Ten,” said Rumble, at the same time that Frenzy shouted, “Twelve!”

“I’m ten, he’s twelve!”

“He’s _really_ tall!”

For a second, it seemed that the human might close the door on them, but after staring at their identical beaming faces for a moment, she relented and dropped a fun-size Baby Ruth bar into each of their orange plastic pumpkins.

“Happy Halloween.  Now be good, boys.”

“Thank you, meatbagggg – ummmmm – Ma’am!”  Rumble ex-vented in relief.  _That_ could have been awkward.

With a final doubtful glance, the human shut her door, and Rumble and Frenzy capered down the sidewalk, high-fiving each other as they went.

“Score!  That’s fifteen houses so far –”

“– and only four turned us down!  We are the _best_ at trick-or-treating!”

They passed scores of ghosts and Spidermen and My Little Ponies, and made for the only empty house on the block.  The couple who owned the place had gone out for the evening, but had left a bowl of candy with a chipper, “Happy Halloween!” sign on the front porch, underneath the criss-crossing garlands of orange and black crepe paper.  Frenzy and Rumble were enjoying conning the humans out of their sweetened fuel, but they had no use for the goodies themselves, so they just kept returning here and dumping them in the bowl to put them back into circulation.

As a nicely atmospheric touch, a tape player beside the bowl was playing an uninterrupted string of creepy tunes.  A very familiar blue tape player, as it happened.

Soundwave clicked off the last strains of “The Monster Mash” and ordered, “Frenzy.  Rumble.  Human festivities, now ending.  Return to base.”

“Aww, do we have to, Boss?”

“Yeah, I wanna see if we get more candy if we hit the same houses twice!”

“And I haven’t thrown eggs and toilet paper at anybody’s car yet!”

“Cassettes, promised one circuit of neighbourhood.  That, now complete.”  Anyone apart from Soundwave’s minicons would probably have missed the faint, reproachful note in the monotone, but it made Rumble and Frenzy wince.  “Return to base, _now._ ”

“Awww,” Frenzy pouted, even as he dutifully scooped Soundwave up and tucked him onto his shoulder.  “And we don’t even get any slagging candy we can _eat._ ”

They stepped behind a small clump of trees edging the front path, and, as soon as the coast was clear, took off.

Soundwave was unusually quiet on the trip back, even for him, but he brushed off any attempts from his cassettes to ask whether something was wrong.

***

“TRICK OR TREAT!”

“What.  The actual.  Frag.”

Astrotrain rubbed his optics, squinted, and rubbed them again.

Nope.  Still seeing a miniature Optimus Prime; a tiny Prowl; a grotesque, two-headed winged creature with the faces of Rumble and Frenzy; Ratbat; and Ravage covered in white and blue paint.

What was _in_ that high grade last night?

Tiny Prowl spoke up.  “Hey, you gonna give us some treats, or am I gonna have to arrest you and take you to Autobot Jail?”

Treats!  Right!  It came rushing back to him:  Soundwave drawing him aside and pressing a small container of energon goodies into his hand, along with a cube of high grade in payment.  Well, if the Decepticon third-in-command was invested enough in this odd game to bribe Astrotrain to join in, he’d better play his part to the hilt.  “Ooooh!” he simpered as he carefully distributed the treats into the strange tubs that looked like leering orange heads.  “What _amazing_ costumes!  You look terrific!”  Curiosity got the better of him, and he couldn’t help but add, “Why are you dressed as Autobots, though?”

“ _Duh,_ ” said Tiny Prowl, who had Frenzy’s distinctive red-and-black plating peeking out from underneath his fake bumper.  “It’s Halloween; you’re supposed to go as something scary.”

“Ravage is bein’ Sky Lynx, but he doesn’t like it,” Tiny Prime put in.  Sky Lynx growled murderously.

Tiny Prowl pointed upwards.  “The birds are pretendin’ to be us.  They think it’s funny.  It’s okay; they’re stupid, and you don’t have to give ’em any candy if you don’t want to.”

Astrotrain didn’t like to imagine how Soundwave would respond if Astrotrain upset any of the minicons on this peculiarly important day.  “Nah, it’s cool.  I got plenty.”  He narrowed his optics at the tiny figure hovering next to the two-headed Rumble-Frenzy monster.  “What’s Ratbat supposed to be?”  Closer now, he could make out a tiny cloak – like the one Decepticon leaders wore at their coronations, but black, with a red lining – fastened around the batformer’s shoulders.

“He’s a vampire bat!” Tiny Prime declared.  Ratbat fluttered proudly.

“That’s… that’s great, kids.  Really.”  Astrotrain had made short work of Soundwave’s present the night before, and it was starting to catch up with him.  “Happy – um – Halloween, yeah?”  And he shut the door.

Tiny Prowl took out a miniature pair of handcuffs and started twirling them smugly on one finger.  “Where to next?”

Tiny Prime consulted a datapad.  “Uh – Combaticons’ quarters.”  He grinned.  “Then up to Cybertron to hit up Shockwave!  I bet none of those pathetic fleshlings ever trick-or-treated by _spacebridge_!”

Half-full goodie bags bouncing behind them, they ran off in search of their next victims.


End file.
